“Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” God 

The day is almost spent or rather about halfway through. Let me share with you the lesson of the day that I learned. 

Faith is sometimes blind. I say sometimes because a lot of faith one can verify. While this might seem like a shocking statement it is not. To test the Christian faith all one must do is practice it and see what the results are. Of course, Christianity has become so perverse and misconstrued that in some manifestations it has turned into the direct opposite of what it was intended to be. If you really want to know what Christianity is, pay close attention to what Jesus said and did. Jesus was not a warmongering capitalist, He just wasn’t.

But there are some things that you just have to trust and accept. The fact that God will provide for your every need is one of them. I have been through a lot in life. I have suffered from a severe mental illness for which I was committed three times and hospitalized a total of nine times. My illness has spanned thirty years of my life and before that, I was quite confused about life. But thanks to the intervention of God I have never been of want in my life, at least for material things. I have never suffered harm despite being in some dangerous places and doing some outrageous things.

I have been in a depressed state and I will have to say it is circumstantial. I have been faithfully taking my medicine and I have been far from drugs and alcohol. Still, I am singing the blues.

My wife is ill with dementia and I cannot work as she needs around the clock care. My only options for employment are a very well paying job or something I could do at home. While exploring both options I have had no success in finding something. Not only is the financial clock ticking away to zero but so is the physical condition of Sylvia is slipping. She can just barely take half steps now as I carry her to the bathroom to clean her. My back aches even now as I type this.

So here it is I wake up in a very bad mood. Still, I need to go through the routine of bathing my wife, giving her her medicine and feeding her. Once these priorities were done I lay down on the couch and prayed to God. In my moments of reflection, I thought about perseverance. I thought about denying oneself and carrying their cross daily. My wife’s dementia has been a long and arduous road. In all honesty, this is not the hardest part, but rather when she would run away. Not knowing if she was safe or not wreaked havoc on my mind.

I know the end of the road cannot be that far away. At some point soon, I will come to the point where I can no longer physically meet her needs. I pray that when that moment comes that I will have the finances to put her into a very nice nursing home. The only way that seems to be possible is that if I can somehow sell a lot of my books. Through man’s eyes, this seems highly improbable after all its been about four years of trying with minimal success. But through God’s eyes, there is hope.

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. A war could literally break out overnight in the Middle East and the world economy could be plunged into disaster. At a minimum, a big war would bring the price of gasoline to over ten dollars a gallon. So the future is at best tentative. I could go to sleep tonight and never wake up tomorrow.

I am faced with the choice of being optimistic and pessimistic. I choose optimism knowing that the thoughts it will bring to my mind will help me deal with today. One way or another I will, by the grace of God, get through my troubles. So hold on, persevere in the hard moments, because with God all things are possible, that is the lesson for today.

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Author: John Kaniecki